I have concluded that there are two kinds of people, ‘beach people’ and ‘brunch people’. The first are those that like outdoor activities; the second are those that like to sit in one place for hours and read, or study, or converse. And I think they have a tendency to marry each other.
My wife is a rather extreme example of a ‘brunch person’. [I should mention that she’s from the Midwest, which may have something to do with this.] Her ideal restful day is to sleep till almost noon and then go and sit in a restaurant where she can read, eat, and drink iced tea from say about 1:30 to 4:30. And, one of her favorite places to do this looks over the ocean; but it is not a beach, and one has to wear shirts and shoes. And she likes to have company when she does this. At one time I burned with resentment; now I’ve learned to strategize instead. [A strategy, if you can find one, is a good cure for resentment.] She doesn’t tolerate alarm clocks going off when she is trying to rest or sleep in; if I don’t wake up myself, then so be it, but today I did of my own accord and went down to a beach and tried to catch waves; without success, because I’ve never surfed. When I got back she was just waking up. And I took my laptop to brunch, and eventually asked for the wifi code so I could start to write and use the time constructively. When it gets to late fall and early winter, the sun will be close to setting when we get out of brunch, so all the more important it is for me to seize the morning.
I think couples who have young children don’t have this issue so much, because most of their spare time is taken up with neither beach nor brunch, but other things. I do think it may be an issue for couples who haven’t had kids yet, and empty nesters. In any case, strategy is a better solution than resentment.